A Firm Grip....

"That's right.  Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you & I'm not letting go.

I'm telling you, 'Don't panic.'  I'm right here to help you."

It's easy to panic.

I'm a single mama with three kiddos.  

 A house to maintain.

Bills to pay.

Meals to prepare.

A demanding full-time job.

A never-ending "to do" list.

But, I'm reminded time and again...

He has a firm grip.

Even when I'm clawing,

grasping,

hanging on by a thread...

His hold is tight.

It is so easy to doubt Him.

Not because He has not proved Himself time & again.

But, because I am so very human.

Isaiah 46 in the Message says,

"So to whom will you compare me, the incomparable?

Can you picture me without reducing me?"

I was struck by this, because I knew that if I answered honestly...

the answer is a resounding

NO.

How can my finite mind picture God without putting limitations on Him?

So, I simply must take Him at His Word.

He has a firm grip.

He is not letting go. 

He is right here to help.

Isaiah 40

The grass withers & the wild flowers fade,

BUT

our God's Word stands

FIRM & FOREVER.

God doesn't come & go.  

God lasts.

Oh, friends...

how many times does He have to say it

before my small mind believes it?

He stays.

Those might be the most two comforting words I have ever typed.

He stays.

So, today...

I think I'll just rest in that 

& 

not panic,

Because,

He's staying and He's not letting go.

Nineteen

It astounds me to look at this bearded beast on stage & think that I birthed him...

all 10+ pounds of him.

We celebrated

McQuiston William Mirich Bowes' 

19th

birthday on Saturday.

Nineteen.

Where have nineteen years gone?

Just yesterday, I was sitting at D'Bronx...

HUGELY

pregnant.

HUGELY.

Because, let's be honest...

I am NOT a

PRETTY 

pregnant.

I went home & took castor oil because I heard it induced labor.

And, I was miserable.

Because, where does 10+ pounds of baby go when you're only 5'3".

Seriously, I was afraid if I opened my mouth wide enough

a foot would POP out!

The castor oil made me sick, so I went & laid down.

I woke up an hour later because I had been dreaming I was in pain.

Except, it wasn't a dream...

I was in labor with this little, err...BIG nugget.

It took all night to get him here. 

And, he was SOOO worth it.

You are a joy, McQuiston.

Your talent amazes me.

Your thirst for knowledge.

Your "there is NOTHING I can't do" attitude.

How you take a car apart & put it all back together again!

Ah-mazing!

I'm excited to see you grow in your talents as you discover life beyond high school.

You are so loved.

Happy 19th!

Mama

Ice, Ice, Baby....

 Last Friday night, I had a pretty awesome evening with my youngest, Reilly.

Reilly is an amazing artist & he especially loves graffiti art.

One of his favorites graffiti artists is Scribe, a Kansas City gem.

His works graces the sides of many buildings in Kansas City, and at the new Prairie Fire out South.

So, when Ry & I found out he would be painting a mural at Miami Ice on 39th...

we were there.

No matter that it was ONE BILLION degrees!

It was absolutely mesmerizing to sit & watch him work. 

From the initial sketch, to layer after layer of paint.

And, to watch his enjoyment as people stopped by & said hello.

That grey splotch is from when Scribe let a little boy about 8 years old paint on the wall.  

You should have seen this kid's face when he handed him the can!

He was slightly apprehensive at first, but by the end...

he was into it!

I thought to myself how every time that little boy passes that mural...he'll know that he "helped" create that piece of art.  What an amazing memory!

The highlight for Ry was when Scribe signed his book.  

Amazing!  Look at the shadowing & depth he creates!

Scribe's work & signature in Ry's book.

And, look at the grin on this kid!

I mean, if you take a selfie with your mama...

it must have been a good night!

(I may have bribed him with Chipotle)

What a fun evening with my Ry Guy!

I am so blessed to be his mama...

his interests & talents have grown me...

he even provided us a soundtrack for the evening

& played us some amazing jazz, Johnny Cash, and Hozier.

Eclectic taste...so stinkin' cool.

Reilly will be starting his Senior year soon.

I can't believe my "baby" will be in his last year of high school.

He will be taking classes at JCCC as well...

testing out of Senior English, he'll be taking honors Comp I & II, as well as,

AP Art.

Excited to see what the future holds for this amazingly talented young man!

Thanks, Ry, for makin' your mama hip.

What I Wore Wednesday

It's Wednesday...

let's do this!

McQuiston had another gig with MOBS, his band.

I had to show my support with my MOBS t-shirt.

I may have cut off the sleeves & made it into a V-neck.

But, hey...it's custom.

Paired it with a new denim jacket I got on clearance...some white cropped pants & black heels.

ROCK STAR!

I got this darling Gap tank at Savers.  Paired it with some white cotton slacks & Issac Mizrahi kitten heels.  Loads of bangles & a necklace I made.

I'm telling ya...if ya don't own a pair of these flowy pants by now...

you have NO idea what you are missing!

I would LIVE in these!

Grabbed these at Target on clearance...

cream tunic & my jean jacket on repeat.

And, the bangles...always the bangles.

Flowy pants for church & the messy bun look.

Cuz, I hate doing my hair on a Sunday...

or really any day, but it's a necessary.

Red cropped pants, another cream tunic & look at that...my new jean jacket & more bangles!  I guess when you have a look...you just go with it!

Rounding out the week, I finally decided to wear my purple Vera Wang cardi....I have had it forever & ever & NEVER wore it.  I paired it with a crisp white blouse, cropped black slacks, some AH-mazing heels & some purple & turquoise jewelry.

Another What I Wore Wednesday in the books....

And, if not He is still good...

"And, if not He is still good."

This verse from Daniel is on the first page of my current journal.

I've been meditating on it a lot.

I have mulled over if my attitude, my words, my mere presence

reflects His goodness

when He says,

"NO".

There have been a lot of NOs in the past year.

NO to a job opportunity that would have eased the financial burden of being a single mama tremendously.

NO to my pleas to rescue my marriage.

NO to a house.

NO to a car.

NO to so many things I thought that would make life 

better,

easier,

more enjoyable.

Bob Goff shares that "Sometimes you build what you didn't even mean to build & you end up with something better...People talk about bridges when they talk about how God wants to connect with us...but, I don't think I'l l use that phrase anymore...You see, I've built a bridge...and, while I ended up with what I set out to make--a way to get over a river, I ended up with something even better in the process--a way to get through it."

So, all the NOs just gave me something even better--

a way to get through it.

And, those NOs lead to some YES(es)...

YES to a promotion.

YES to seeing my self worth & being confident on my own.

YES to #jillyshouseofnewbeginnings.

YES to keeping & refinancing my car.

YES to friends.

YES to new experiences.

YES to His will NOT my own.

Faith does not increase by accident.  Growth takes time, dedication, and intentionality.

--Charles Stanley

In I Peter we are promised a day when we will have it all--a life HEALED & WHOLE.

But, that day is brought about when we are can truly say,

"If NOT, He is still GOOD."

When we are ready to embrace suffering rather than prestige. 

Because, NOT for a moment are we forgotten by God.

(I Peter 5)

HE IS GOOD.

ALL. THE. TIME.

#momsunleashedinkc

This time last year, if you had told me that I would be living in a new home, be single, and have just hosted dinner for 8 ladies that I met through a barn sale & Instagram...

I would have told you that you were NUTS-O!

But, that is exactly what I did last Friday night when a group of ladies descended on 

#jillyshouseofnewbeginnings and filled my home with love and LOTS of laughter.

And, I was awed at God's amazing plan...

how He took this past year of mourning

AND

poured out on me His goodness

through a Tribe of Nine.

The first group photo of #mytribeof9.

Well, not the first...there were lots of attempts before this...

but, everyone agreed on this shot.

I think what I love most is that you can see each individual personality come through in this photo.  And, BOY...was it a LOT of personality!

Very rarely am I one of the quieter ones in the room.

But, with this group...

and their quick banter...

I'm happy to sit back & listen.

Double D brought her newly purchased selfie stick.

What a hoot!

And, of course, the chalkboard had to welcome the ladies.

Though it really needed GaleNation's handwriting expertise!

These girls....Oh My.

If only I had an adequate grasp of the English language to describe their craziness...

but, this picture might do it. No words needed.

And, the ladies let me cook...which my made heart happy.

And, GaleNation made the most delicious margaritas ever!

Because, I love Jesus, but I drink a little.

(which GaleNation will be creating that for me in a sign to go over my "bar cart")

And, she also made the most amaze balls guac and salsa.

And, we crafted, a bit...

And, the sefies continued.

Because, this cuteness can't be contained.

Am I right???

And, I baked...

a lemon pound cake with fresh blueberries

& a light from heaven shone down on it.

(or the oven light...whatever)

And, you don't have a party without my homemade chocolate chip cookies....

And, we had a Starbucks virgin among us (can you imagine???), so we had to celebrate!

And, a double batch of chocolate chip cookies were devoured (ok, the kids helped).

We won't mention the amount of peanut butter M&Ms consumed.

Or margaritas.

Or wine.

Or iced tea.

And, water.

And, sadness...we ran out of guac.

And, our mascot, Leo, (thanks for that, Jaryn) LOVED the ladies filling his home.

Because, let's be honest...this is really Leo's house & we just live in it.

And, there were deep conversations & no one ever looked at their phone or posted on social media. (giggles)

And, we went to City Market, Nell Hills, and about every thrift store in town.

Again, these girls.

Jaryn & Katie...what a pure source of JOY you are!

This was my FIRST & LAST duck face EV-AH! 

And, will ya look at the HAIR in this picture!

I don't know how we got it all to fit in the frame.

These girls DO hair!

Big Texas hair has NOTHING on these gals!

And, as the weekend closed out & I hung one of my finds from our thrifting excursion...

I did truly count my blessings.

Thank you, #mytribeof9, for a lovely weekend & being an answer to prayer.