What I Wore Wednesday: Stripped Down

If you're looking for a post about my undies, this isn't it.  This is a post about what happens when we're asked to strip away all the outside stuff & look at what we're wearing on the inside.

If you follow me on IG, you may have noticed the absence of #ootd (outfit of the day) pics for a couple of weeks.  It was intentional.  I shared a snip that I was going without make up for an entire week.  Except a bit of mascara to ward off the questions at work..."Are you sick?  Don't you feel well?  You look a little pale."

The above photo attests to the fact that any old barn looks better with a coat of paint. (I'm sans "paint" above) My mama's pastor used to say this back in the day.  The church was all a tizzy about whether women should wear make up.  Brother Wilson shared his thoughts rather frankly.  I like that.

I grew up in a home where my mama put on her make up & did her hair every day.  Even when she was sick.  Even when she wasn't leaving the house.  Every day.  Without fail.

Now, this post isn't a make up debate.  I am PRO make up.  But, a couple of weeks ago.  As, I wrote my "What I Wore" post.  I was ashamed.  Because, while I was keeping up my outward appearance.  My heart was so very ugly.  And, dark.  

And, I knew...that for one week, I would focus solely dressing my inside.  It was a humbling experience for a girl who has worn make up regularly since the 5th grade.  

The words of an old Phillips, Craig & Dean song kept playing in my head...

"When the music fades
and all has slipped away
and I simply come.
Longing just to be
something that's of worth
that will bless Your heart."

It is my one desire to be something that is of worth...someone who will bless His heart.  

And, exposed...I laid down that ugliness before him.  That anger.  That hurt.  That disappointment that I clothed my soul in. I fought feeling that I had the right to wrap myself in this hostility.  I had been wronged.  Deceived.  Cheated.  It was my right to feel this way.  

And, the darkness set in. And, the loneliness enveloped.  And, I prayed.  

I prayed for my soul to be stripped down.  And, I am still praying now.  

I won't claim any epiphanies.  I won't say their was miraculous divine release.  But, there is a daily desire to present myself to Him as someone that will bless His heart.  And, each morning as I put on my make up.  I pray.  I pray to love those who have hurt me.  To bless them, even.  And, it still feels like acid on my tongue.  But, I will continue to bless each day until my words become my heart's true desire.  

Next week, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled "What I Wore" Wednesday.  I don't often (if ever) get serious on this little blog of mine.  But, I felt compelled to share this with you. 

 And, to let you know....when we are stripped down.  
Our skin.  
Our soul. 
 Oh, that is when He loves us most.