Why I Share "The Ugly" & J.O.Y.

"In a futile attempt to erase our past, we deprive the community of our healing gift.  If we conceal our wounds out of fear & shame, our inner darkness can neither be illuminated nor become light for others."

--Brennan Manning

 

Since I began to share about "The Things We Never Talk About", a funny (I use that term loosely) thing happened.  I began to sink even deeper.  I think it was the perfect storm....the holidays....winter...vulnerability....exposure....truth....the enemy.  

The old familiar thoughts began to swirl.  The dark demons began to rear their ugly heads.  And, it became very dark.  

I beat myself up for exposing that which I have kept hidden for so long.  

And, then...there was a glimmer...

I began to run into people who said they loved this little blog.  (though I am still scratching my head as to why).  They thanked me for sharing.  For giving voice to that which that which they had never spoken.

And, a small crack appeared in the darkness.  After so much darkness, even the slightest bit of light is blinding.  I'm clawing my way toward that light.  Slowly.

The Lord spoke to my heart about this next year. 

I'm excited to share with you about this little experiment He has given me.

It isn't fully formed.  And, even now...I'm scared to even give it voice.

But, I am going to be brave as I squint at that slim sliver of LIGHT.

For those of you who know the darkness OR for those of you who desire more JOY, I hope you'll join me on this journey to JOY.  

Pray for me.  I'm scared.  But, I'm ready for some LIGHT in the darkness.

I'll share next Monday, January 6th, about The J.O.Y. Experiment.